'What We Got Here is a Failure to Communicate'

Have you ever had an argument that went absolutely nowhere? Try arguing with drunk people; logic doesn't mix with alcohol. I've noticed that a lot of arguments don't get solved because the people are actually arguing two different things. If someone's arguing based on moral grounds, and the other on economic grounds, it's hard to meet in the middle. For the most part, people just don't listen to each other. I'm not a big Dr. Phil fan, but at least he makes people listen to what's going on around them. To help keep minor disagreements from escalating into bottle-breaking brawls, here's a list of fair-fight rules from The Family Centre, Edmonton. I pulled this from Glow magazine, April 2006 (yes, I read everything).

1. No name calling or hurtful remarks.
2. Don't interrupt and be willing to listen.
3. Don't bring up the past: stick to the here and now.
4. Focus on the issue.
5. No physical violence.
6. Don't play psychologist or make speeches. Don't make assumptions or try to tell the other person what he or she is thinking or feeling.
7. Negotiate. State your problem, suggest alternatives, review the positive and negative consequences of your options and reach a solution.
8. Own your problems, feelings, and behaviours. Use "I" rather than "you."
9. Time out is OK. If things get too heated, continue the discussion later.
10. Be accepting. Realize that you are different from others in the way you see things and react emotionally.