Unconscious Gender Guidelines
I watched the movie "Walk the Line" the other day and thought it was pretty good. I have a lot of respect for Johnny Cash, as a person and a musician. So what I have to say next really has nothing to do with him.
There’s a scene where June Carter helps get Johnny off the drugs and set his life back on track. And he’s ever so grateful and the two get married and live happily ever after (this shouldn’t be spoiler, I think the chain of events is fairly obvious by now). All I could think about watching that scene is the amount of women in real life that see it and feel inspired for all the wrong reasons. They watch that scene and think, "I can do that. I can change the man I’m with." No matter how drugged up he is, how deep in gambling debt, or surrounded by hookers, or how many times he gives her a black eye, she still thinks that her love will be enough to save him. And when it doesn’t happen, she blames herself, believing that her love just wasn’t strong enough.
This is a common theme in movies. And it is heartwarming, that I’ll agree. But for the most part it doesn’t reflect real situations. And it’s false hopes such as these that give women the impetus to stick with situations that are unfulfilling, dangerous, or even life-threatening. It places the onus on the female, and says it’s okay for the guy to act in such a manner. It shifts responsibility for his actions.
I’m sure most people will think I overanalysed this to death. But it worries me how much stock women put in relationships, how often women have trouble defining themselves unless it is in relation to a man. It starts young, and pop culture unconsciously keeps the cycle going. I think the powerful message contained in the pink postsecret I posted below is something that people need to become more aware of.
There’s a scene where June Carter helps get Johnny off the drugs and set his life back on track. And he’s ever so grateful and the two get married and live happily ever after (this shouldn’t be spoiler, I think the chain of events is fairly obvious by now). All I could think about watching that scene is the amount of women in real life that see it and feel inspired for all the wrong reasons. They watch that scene and think, "I can do that. I can change the man I’m with." No matter how drugged up he is, how deep in gambling debt, or surrounded by hookers, or how many times he gives her a black eye, she still thinks that her love will be enough to save him. And when it doesn’t happen, she blames herself, believing that her love just wasn’t strong enough.
This is a common theme in movies. And it is heartwarming, that I’ll agree. But for the most part it doesn’t reflect real situations. And it’s false hopes such as these that give women the impetus to stick with situations that are unfulfilling, dangerous, or even life-threatening. It places the onus on the female, and says it’s okay for the guy to act in such a manner. It shifts responsibility for his actions.
I’m sure most people will think I overanalysed this to death. But it worries me how much stock women put in relationships, how often women have trouble defining themselves unless it is in relation to a man. It starts young, and pop culture unconsciously keeps the cycle going. I think the powerful message contained in the pink postsecret I posted below is something that people need to become more aware of.
posted by Kris at 8:16 PM
2 Comments:
I am wholly in agreement with your rant. Movies are not the only form of media which promote the definition of a woman's personality in reference to a male's owns interests and desires. In the grocery store the other day, I was browsing the magazines. The majority of the headings were "How to Please Your Man", "How to Have a Successful Relationship with Your Man", "How to Make Him Love You" (One of my personal favs). The list goes on and on. Women are only classified as being successful if they are attached to a male figure. Therefore, these magazines promote themselves by making empty promises to women with no self-esteem or self-worth. Which, was probably instilled by these very magazines in the first place, as women are expected to live up to the physical expectations of society--enforced and created by the adverstisments and figureheads promoted by the media. ANYWAY--articles professing that "You Can CHANGE Your Man", are not only ludicrious in themselves, but are paradoxical in that they allow women to believe they are being in control and powerful, when in fact they reveal the desperation of the situation. Women who abide by these socially prescribed regulations feel their success is measured only by the "success" of their "relationship" (aka. I am a complete and successful woman because my Man loves me), regardless of self-worth. Thank You. Where's the Tylenol?
That rant was better than mine. Good job! Unfortunately, your rant was only successful because it was attached to my male rant. (That was a joke. Please don't punch me the next time I see you)
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